Hello! Welcome to my new series: BOOK CLUB DRAMA – PRESIDENTIAL CHRONICLES. This is just my bit of hilarity to entertain you all. The short stories that you are about to read are fictional and not at all indicative of the way I feel as President of the phenomenal, RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB! But, some of the stories that I poke fun at, I’m sure are loosely based on some incidents…somewhere (but surely, not within the RRBC). I hope that you all will follow my blog here so that each time I post a new segment to the BOOK CLUB DRAMA – PRESIDENTIAL CHRONICLES series, you will be the first to receive notice. If they give you a chuckle, I ask that you please share them on your social media forums. Enjoy, and do keep giving me great material to write about!
P.S. Before my secretary starts receiving tons of email, “No, I am not talking about you!” LOL
BOOK CLUB DRAMA
Another day behind the desk of the Office of the President of this horrendous sham called a book club. WHERE READERS WRITE Book Club! What a stupid name! Who came up with that anyway? Everyone thinks this place is amazing, but only I know the truth. Well, me and…maybe my secretary, Resa, and of course, James, from the Marketing Dept. He tries to keep his nose in everything around here. They’re the ones who get to see these members in their truest light, the way I do; Resa, because she’s the Club Secretary and James, well, because he’s nosey. Anyway, I can’t wait for us to shut the doors on this place in the spring. The drama these members bring, make my constant headaches, that much more painful…and I just can’t take it anymore!
I mean, who cares if Josephine Jones wrote that book and published it without having it properly edited and proofed? You don’t have to read it, you know. Who cares that Rory Ray met Susie Claire offline for a cup of coffee and only God knows what else? I mean, it’s not our business, so why are we in BOOK CHAT talking about it? Is that why the forum was created? Heck, no! Interacting with these members virtually, is just as bad as having Ms. Gladys next door for a neighbor! And we all know how much of a busy-body she is. Again, spring can’t spring itself on me, fast enough.
Long gone are the days where I devote my life, my every waking moment to this place…to these ungrateful folks. I just can’t do it anymore. I could be spending my precious time writing fabulous books…you know, the kind that readers would actually enjoy reading. But, what do I do? Like a nut, I spend my time promoting all these so-called writers who push out junk after junk after junk, like it’s their 3 daily meals! I mean, are you really putting out good works that quickly? In my professional opinion (and my opinions are always professional), heck no! Like I said, JUNK with a capital J U N K!
And if I get one more email from Nelly Q, complaining that someone has given her another poor review on Amazon…I’m going to scream and nail myself to the cross!
I mean, c’mon, Nelly…seriously? You know just as well as we do that you put out crap. You should appreciate that they’re telling you so! Some days I just want to have Resa create a template that simply says: Dear, Member: There is nothing we can do about someone giving you a poor review. Learn how to string a proper sentence together, and proper punctuation placement skills, and maybe your feelings won’t be so hurt each time you look at your reviews. I mean, really? Sincerely…
But, of course, I would never ask her to send out such a rude piece of mail. I mean, I can think it (and quite often I do), but I’d never actually send it out. At least not until I’m a little older. People tell me that when you reach a certain age, you just don’t care what comes out of your mouth…or, any other orifice of your body, for that matter. OK, wait a second, did I really just say that? Hahaha…maybe I’m closer to that age than I think!
Anyway, enough of my rant. I have to run now as I’ve noticed that Resa is sending me email after email…no doubt, complaints from these ungrateful members. *Sigh* They better pray that I don’t wake up in a bad mood tomorrow. This was one of my good days!